An Intro to Introversion

Introversionin·tro·ver·sion \ˌin-trə-ˈvər-zhən, -shən\

1. the act of introverting :  the state of being introverted

2. the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life

        I, Hayley-Quinn, a self-diagnosed "introvert," have come into contact with many people who misunderstand what I mean when I call myself an "introvert". So I'm here to set the record...well my record at least...straight. I grew up with a lot of social anxiety and spent most of my childhood hidden behind my mother's legs. That being said, between my older brother (the extrovert) and I, there was a clear favourite among family and friends. However, when you're too shy to speak, it's a little bit hard to explain your feelings.  It wasn't until Secondary Two (that's grade 8 for all of you non-Quebecers) when I began to sing in concert and take drama classes that I really started to shed my extreme shyness. I'm not going to pretend that now, at 20, I have become an extrovert and all of my problems are solved because that just isn't true. True, I would rather sit alone in a coffee shop reading than out drinking in a bar, but that doesn't necessarily mean I never go out or don't like people or parties. I like having fun as much as the next person, only for me, it takes twice the effort and energy to socialize. An extrovert feeds on the energies of other people while an introvert might be drained of said energy.

    I want to clear up the fact that my shyness is not synonymous with my introversion. I am shy, but I am also deeply fascinated by the mental aspect of life. I like to think that being shy actually propelled me into introversion, but these two qualities are not necessarily interlinked. Many times I've been told "just be LESS shy" as though my quiet, calm demeanour was an act I chose to put on. I cannot be any less shy than you can be any less loud or energetic. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy a quiet night, a lonely walk or a day of reading or making art. An extrovert might take the opportunity to network or find a potential partner in a room full of strangers, but as an introvert, I can attest that most of the the time, I am wracking my brain for something to say (at times with no luck). I've found that mentioning that you're shy often helps to break away from the "bitchy-ness" and your conversational partner will likely probe you with some questions to keep the dialogue going! 

      "Resting Bitch Face" is the millennial term for girls, like me, who aren't training to become Miss Universe and therefore don't face others with a smile plastered on 24/7. If you took the time to read the above definition of introversion, you would know that introverts spend a lot of time in their heads. As both an introvert and an artist, I live in my own head, constantly writing a new poem, story or composing the perfect shot for one of my photographs. So while I may have a grimace on my face, I'm not necessarily angry at all! On top of that, I've often been told that I come across as "rude" or a "bitch" (pardon my French but its all for the sake of accuracy). Without trying to sound like I am campaigning for Miss Universe, I'm a nice person. I am a give-someone-the benefit-of-the-doubt, no judgment, understanding kind of person who loves to make new friends. However, as I mentioned earlier, I often lack the words (as a writer, I'm fully aware of the irony) and therefore  have short responses around new people.
        That being said, if you see a quiet kid in your Foreign Film class or a girl sipping coffee in the back of your Theory of Magic course, say hi! The quiet ones have a lot going on in their heads and once you break in, they can be some of the best friends you'll ever have (much like those extroverts).
Also, who better to entrust with all of your secrets?

-Hayley-Quinn, Introvert