Almost but Never Quite: Your 20s

Ok, I must admit, this summer baby is not yet 20 (almost there guys, but trust me I’m in no rush). Born later in the year, (Hayley will be 21 in October – she’s nearly a year older than me, but hey, who’s counting?) I’ve always felt the need prove my maturity to those who continue to classify me as a youngin. “Oh, you’re only 19,” they say, "you still have so much time.” As my 20s creep upon me though, I can’t help but feel like I'm somehow running out of time. But out of time for what? How can we even quantify or pinpoint a time and place that certain events or milestones are supposed to happen in our lives? Yet, our culture seems to suggest otherwise.

Talking to people with more experience under their belt (it seems like everyone has more experience than you, doesn't it?) can make you feel like the oddest ball out of the bunch. Should I have already backpacked through Europe? No, I've never been in love. Why don’t I have a European boyfriend? And why can’t I afford that trendy apartment in whichever urban center of the world? Then comes a feeling of wanting to embrace all these moments at once, to experience each inch of the world simultaneously, to accept these moments into your life spontaneously, readily and freely. This is usually followed by the disheartening dissatisfaction of them not occurring, of waiting for something, someone, but never finding them. If you’re really feeling cynical, as I sometimes do, you might even wonder whether or not your life will forever remain in this perpetual state of limbo.

It doesn't...I hope. 

I have a constant hunger for more: more people, more places, more things, more sunsets, more views. It seems like it is never, ever enough. I want to fill myself up with the most beautiful sights and the most beautiful sentiments until I combust. I swear, while fourteen year olds were stressing about the boys they liked in their grade, I was perturbed by the fear of aimlessly wandering through life and never reaching a satisfying destination.

Satisfaction.

Everything I do seems to leave me with a lingering taste of “almost” but never quite “there.” When will I get there? I suppose this is part of the journey. Like many of my friends, I have big dreams and lots of ideas, which I believe is a product of our millennial generation. Speaking to our Generation X can sometimes lead you to believe that these ideas will never materialize and that your expectations are too heavy for reality. I have found that the trick to happiness is to look for it: to smile in the company of those you love, to be happy in the simple every day tasks and activities of being, to breathe and remind yourself that it is great that you're even alive at all and to NEVER settle for a mediocre life. Your dreams can materialize and all the great things you want in life can be achieved, but it won't happen all at once, in the same month, or the same year. It will take time. But I mean, we have all of our 20s for it, right? 

- Mel