Almost but Never Quite: Your 20s

Ok, I must admit, this summer baby is not yet 20 (almost there guys, but trust me I’m in no rush). Born later in the year, (Hayley will be 21 in October – she’s nearly a year older than me, but hey, who’s counting?) I’ve always felt the need prove my maturity to those who continue to classify me as a youngin. “Oh, you’re only 19,” they say, "you still have so much time.” As my 20s creep upon me though, I can’t help but feel like I'm somehow running out of time. But out of time for what? How can we even quantify or pinpoint a time and place that certain events or milestones are supposed to happen in our lives? Yet, our culture seems to suggest otherwise.

Talking to people with more experience under their belt (it seems like everyone has more experience than you, doesn't it?) can make you feel like the oddest ball out of the bunch. Should I have already backpacked through Europe? No, I've never been in love. Why don’t I have a European boyfriend? And why can’t I afford that trendy apartment in whichever urban center of the world? Then comes a feeling of wanting to embrace all these moments at once, to experience each inch of the world simultaneously, to accept these moments into your life spontaneously, readily and freely. This is usually followed by the disheartening dissatisfaction of them not occurring, of waiting for something, someone, but never finding them. If you’re really feeling cynical, as I sometimes do, you might even wonder whether or not your life will forever remain in this perpetual state of limbo.

It doesn't...I hope. 

I have a constant hunger for more: more people, more places, more things, more sunsets, more views. It seems like it is never, ever enough. I want to fill myself up with the most beautiful sights and the most beautiful sentiments until I combust. I swear, while fourteen year olds were stressing about the boys they liked in their grade, I was perturbed by the fear of aimlessly wandering through life and never reaching a satisfying destination.

Satisfaction.

Everything I do seems to leave me with a lingering taste of “almost” but never quite “there.” When will I get there? I suppose this is part of the journey. Like many of my friends, I have big dreams and lots of ideas, which I believe is a product of our millennial generation. Speaking to our Generation X can sometimes lead you to believe that these ideas will never materialize and that your expectations are too heavy for reality. I have found that the trick to happiness is to look for it: to smile in the company of those you love, to be happy in the simple every day tasks and activities of being, to breathe and remind yourself that it is great that you're even alive at all and to NEVER settle for a mediocre life. Your dreams can materialize and all the great things you want in life can be achieved, but it won't happen all at once, in the same month, or the same year. It will take time. But I mean, we have all of our 20s for it, right? 

- Mel

Easy, Easy

         Today's shoot was an impromptu city exploration day wherein a lot of the shots were actually candid. Pictured are Jesse (21) and Mel (19, aka co-blogger on The Paradox Platform) who acted as my models for the day. After a series of...well...mistakes, we made our way to Studio 303 located on St. Catherine, towards Place Des Arts, which hosts studio spaces for a myriad of purposes such as dance, yoga, art galleries, photo shoots and loft areas. The stunning building was a clear choice as the location for the majority of our shoot and the grey day provided some excellent soft lighting...which also just happened to match my Instagram theme (I don't want to say aesthetic...but aesthetic). Both Mel and Jesse's Instagram's are listed below!
  

Instagram: Mel: @melissamezz , Jesse: @kissqc


-Hayley-Quinn

People in Places: Love in Bloom at the Westmount Greenhouse

         Although we love being featured on the blog, Mel and I decided that we'd also like to get our friends involved. And so our "People in Places" photo series was born. "People in Places" will feature a person of our choosing and one location where the photo shoot will be held. It is a photo shoot as well as a love letter to this beautiful city and hopefully someday even some foreign places!
       Green with envy (see what I did there?), these two (Right: Samantha Morency, 19, Left: Mackenzie Teatero, 19...instagrams listed below!) are major couple goals. Whoever said three's a crowd clearly never met the three of us! We walked from the downtown core to the Westmount Greenhouse, located within Westmount Park. The greenhouse is a zen space of trickling fountains and sweet smelling flowers all bathed in calming sunlight. It is the perfect study/reading space to focus; it truly leaves you feeling like you're in nature even when you have to study for those dreaded finals. These chill photos were all taken on an iPhone 5s and were pure laughs and chemistry. Enjoy!

Instagram: Samantha (@sammorency), Mackenzie (@teatero)

-Hayley-Quinn

"For what we see is what we are"

My talented friend, Nick, asked me to be in a few photos for his portfolio. A former Philosophy major at McGill University, Nick only recently opted into the Photography program at Concordia where he intends to illustrate the world through the lens of his trusty FED 3 camera. I have seen some of his work thus far and am beyond amazed by his ability to capture raw emotion on film. Naturally, I was interested in being involved in any of his creative projects. For now, Nick wishes to remain behind the camera, concealed and largely anonymous; he even tries to stay away from social media as much as possible, a feeling I deeply relate to. I told him I'd write about him on the blog anyway because I feel like he deserves a little attention. Besides, those who are passionate and in love with life (and all aspects of it) are the best kinds of people! 

Nick and I spontaneously met up yesterday afternoon and decided to use the nice weather as an opportunity to test run some photos. We made our way down Saint-Antoine and Peel and found ourselves wandering through alley ways and small streets. As two perfectionists - the man behind the camera and the girl facing the lens - neither of us were fully content with the results of the shoot. Albeit, Nick has to get his film developed before we can actually scrutinize these results, but we did play around and take some photos with my Iphone 5s for fun. Here are some of the ones we agreed we both liked. There will be more to come from this shoot once his film is processed. Stay tuned!

Edit:  The developed film unfortunately did not reveal too much promise; some photos turned out slightly unfocused, while others were not well-framed. We were lucky to get these two cool shots though!  

-Mel

Band Tees: The Good, The Bad, and The Judg-ey

         The Good
         Music has always played a huge part in my life. I grew up listening to Shania Twain to Jewel to Cheap Trick and everything in between. I'd like to think of myself as having a pretty inclusive and expansive knowledge of the music world and with this love of music comes a love of bands and of musicians. Whether you're a festival freak or a concert junkie, there's nothing like a good band tee to start a conversation or simply to express your love for a band. With the emerging commercialization of band tees at your local Forever 21 or Urban Outfitters and the like, they aren't just merch sold at venues anymore and I couldn't be happier! One of my personal favourite bands, Nirvana, disbanded in the year that I was born and without places like H&M selling their merchandise, I wouldn't be able to own one at all.

          The Bad
          Having expressed my love for the accessibility of The Ramones, Cheap Trick, Nirvana and many other bands' t-shirts, there's one thing that Forever 21 and competitors has done that really ticks me off. Before I get into this personal opinion, I want to preface it by saying that it is a personal opinion. That being said, a band tee is a statement; it can perfectly grunge up a look or give you the effortless "just rolled out of bed" vibe when paired with some boyfriend jeans and a pair of chucks. However, F21 has taken these classic band logos and put them on studded and overly-manipulated shirts that barely resemble what a band tee is supposed to look like. I'm not saying that I haven't found and bought a few. I'm saying that I've really had to dig around to find the most simplistic and realistic band tees around. (I've found that vintage stores, thrift shops and eBay are the best places to find authentic concert tees that are worn in and have that soft comforting feel).   

          The Judg-ey
          As a girl who has owned and worn her fair share of band tees, I have also received a lot of grief for it (mostly from males but also the occasional judgmental female). I listen to a wide range of music and if I find a tee that is nice and has a band I love...then I will buy it, point finale. Though I wouldn't buy or wear a shirt with a band I didn't listen to, I have no objections to someone doing the same. We've all met that one "name five songs" guy who smells like stale cigarettes and his mom's basement. Not to mention the sideways glances from (for lack of a better term) hipsters who couldn't possibly believe that I listen to the bands shown on my shirt. Not that these people deserve an explanation but I'm of the opinion that if you like it, wear it. Whether it's a band your parents loved, a hand-me-down, a band of whom you only know one song, your favourite band or you just liked the look of it--wear it! You're not obligated to explain it anymore than that person has to explain his bucket hat and tapered adidas track pants.

-Hayley-Quinn

An Intro to Introversion

Introversionin·tro·ver·sion \ˌin-trə-ˈvər-zhən, -shən\

1. the act of introverting :  the state of being introverted

2. the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life

        I, Hayley-Quinn, a self-diagnosed "introvert," have come into contact with many people who misunderstand what I mean when I call myself an "introvert". So I'm here to set the record...well my record at least...straight. I grew up with a lot of social anxiety and spent most of my childhood hidden behind my mother's legs. That being said, between my older brother (the extrovert) and I, there was a clear favourite among family and friends. However, when you're too shy to speak, it's a little bit hard to explain your feelings.  It wasn't until Secondary Two (that's grade 8 for all of you non-Quebecers) when I began to sing in concert and take drama classes that I really started to shed my extreme shyness. I'm not going to pretend that now, at 20, I have become an extrovert and all of my problems are solved because that just isn't true. True, I would rather sit alone in a coffee shop reading than out drinking in a bar, but that doesn't necessarily mean I never go out or don't like people or parties. I like having fun as much as the next person, only for me, it takes twice the effort and energy to socialize. An extrovert feeds on the energies of other people while an introvert might be drained of said energy.

    I want to clear up the fact that my shyness is not synonymous with my introversion. I am shy, but I am also deeply fascinated by the mental aspect of life. I like to think that being shy actually propelled me into introversion, but these two qualities are not necessarily interlinked. Many times I've been told "just be LESS shy" as though my quiet, calm demeanour was an act I chose to put on. I cannot be any less shy than you can be any less loud or energetic. I enjoy being alone. I enjoy a quiet night, a lonely walk or a day of reading or making art. An extrovert might take the opportunity to network or find a potential partner in a room full of strangers, but as an introvert, I can attest that most of the the time, I am wracking my brain for something to say (at times with no luck). I've found that mentioning that you're shy often helps to break away from the "bitchy-ness" and your conversational partner will likely probe you with some questions to keep the dialogue going! 

      "Resting Bitch Face" is the millennial term for girls, like me, who aren't training to become Miss Universe and therefore don't face others with a smile plastered on 24/7. If you took the time to read the above definition of introversion, you would know that introverts spend a lot of time in their heads. As both an introvert and an artist, I live in my own head, constantly writing a new poem, story or composing the perfect shot for one of my photographs. So while I may have a grimace on my face, I'm not necessarily angry at all! On top of that, I've often been told that I come across as "rude" or a "bitch" (pardon my French but its all for the sake of accuracy). Without trying to sound like I am campaigning for Miss Universe, I'm a nice person. I am a give-someone-the benefit-of-the-doubt, no judgment, understanding kind of person who loves to make new friends. However, as I mentioned earlier, I often lack the words (as a writer, I'm fully aware of the irony) and therefore  have short responses around new people.
        That being said, if you see a quiet kid in your Foreign Film class or a girl sipping coffee in the back of your Theory of Magic course, say hi! The quiet ones have a lot going on in their heads and once you break in, they can be some of the best friends you'll ever have (much like those extroverts).
Also, who better to entrust with all of your secrets?

-Hayley-Quinn, Introvert 



We circle the sidewalks of this suitcase town...

Title: Gregory Alan Isakov's "Morning Lady"

       What are Sundays for if not to spend money that you don't have? Mel and I spent our day lazily shopping in the underground malls of Downtown Montreal. In order to stay comfy and still look cute, I paired one of my favourite H&M fedoras with a pair of Olive Joggers (like acceptable pajama pants!) and a ribbed cropped top both from Zara. My trusty slider sandals really pull the casual Sunday look together. In typical girl fashion, I've thrown my entire life into this spacious American Apparel "Cities Tote" and the shades are RayBan-inspired from Aldo because who really has $100+ to spend on sunnies? That's some serious Ramen money saved!

-Hayley-Quinn

I've got two turntables and a microphone....

Title: Beck's "Where It's At"

           Hey, Mel here. Finally, a nice summer day! To soak up this (likely temporary) sunlight, I paired my vintage Levis with a white flared shirt from Romwe. I decided to give this summer look a little bit of edge by sporting these black Shellys London platforms and added some thrifted sunnies. I swapped out my usual red lipstick colour and opted for a bright orange. I usually live in dark clothing, but there's something about sunlight, summer and the brightness of this time of year that prompts me to exchange those darker colours for something bolder and more eclectic. Can you say Daisy Duke meets 70s vintage?

          By the way, I've been revisiting Beck's Odelay album quite a bit. Where It's At, Jack-Ass, Devil's Haircut and Hotwax are a few of my favourites. I highly recommend checking out his entire discography; his music is good for the soul!

-Mel

Through the Lens: A Look into Photographer Jennifer Bouchard

(Above: Natame, from Bouchard's Polaroid collection,

source: www.jbbouchard.com)

     Sitting in front of a brick wall, adorned in abstract paintings at the ultimate art student hangout: Kafein, photographer Jennifer Bouchard (27) sips her raspberry lemonade and settles into her cozy chair. Bouchard is a Montreal-born photographer who focuses on the denaturalization of the photograph through the manual destruction of Polaroid pictures. She received her DEC in Photography at Cégep André-Laurendau and shortly after that, received a residency in Brussels, Belgium to work with the theme of History and Memory. For her 2009 series, on prisoners of war, she received the Grand Jury Prize, presented at the Maison de la Culture Marie Uguay exhibit on History and Memory. She later received a degree in Visual Arts with a specialization in Photography at the University of Ottawa.

Having studied photography in a technical capacity in both Cégep and University, Bouchard claims that transitioning into abstraction from portrait photography is “like painting, when you learn how to paint, you learn about the non-abstract things and then when you’re really good at it, then you go and think about painting and you deconstruct what you’ve learned.” She attributes her success in abstraction to her core knowledge of techniques like the rule-of-thirds which she incorporates into her pieces, even when they are deconstructed. Bouchard, a long-standing lover of photography, attributes her affinity for deconstructing Polaroids to a Belgian photographer friend: Bérangère Saunier, whom she met while completing a residency in Brussels. Saunier’s work with experimental Polaroid photography inspired Bouchard, who, at the time, was looking for a new medium for her art. “She came to visit me after she went to New York and she brought me my first bag of expired Polaroid (film),” Bouchard muses, “so I went to the nearest thrift shop and I got a Polaroid for like $5, it worked, thank god. So I started doing Polaroids and I thought: this is cool, this is different, let’s start doing that!” With this new platform for her photography, Bouchard claims that she had her concerns about it becoming too “Instagram-ey”, in the sense that Polaroids have recently become a popular photo option in the social media stratosphere. To differentiate herself, she claims to have put her Polaroids through the ringer: “I did everything to them, I put them in the microwave, in the oven, I set them on fire and even put them on ice.” When asked about her process for this destruction of these photographs she claims that it was “random” and stemmed from her tiring of her photography being “technically very good” and wanting to do something that better represented her creative self. Her new series was very well received, the photo shown above (Natame) being one of her first sales. The image is a superimposed photo of two of Bouchard’s friends and was bought by the University of Ottawa as a gift for a foreign professor. Bouchard’s pieces can be up to 6 feet tall in order for the audience to really see the textures in the images. She then moved even further into abstraction by layering up to 5 photographs together to create a “mountain” effect wherein the texture was so vivid that “people actually tried to touch it, people were convinced that they were 3D!” She claims that this heightened level of abstraction forced her audience to really look at the photograph instead of seeing them and thinking “oh, that’s a polaroid of a woman” and moving on. With her new pieces, they are forced to really look and think “well, what is that?” Bouchard calls herself a “creep” when referring to her exhibits, where she likes to act as a fly on the wall to really ascertain how the audience is receiving her work. Despite her degrees and success, she states that she only completely decided that “this is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, for better or for worse” two years ago. In true artist’s fashion, Jennifer Bouchard considers her pieces as her babies claiming that she never gets rid of anything and follows each idea (good or bad) all the way through because the bad ideas have led her to some great pieces. When asked when she knows a piece is done, Bouchard describes this as a “vulnerable” state, she says that even just choosing a frame can take hours, “it’s like your baby, you work on it for so long but at some point you just have to let it go.”

Bouchard is continuing her work with abstraction and denaturalization, pushing it to new levels. She aims to make her art a full-time job in the near future. She attributes her inspiration to artistic influences: fellow artists and assigned art spaces and she hopes to get to a place where her pieces are no longer about photography but about the textures and the landscapes. She looks at photography as a platform upon which a new art form is born where mediums collide (paint, film, sculpture) and refuses to label or conform to a standard when it comes to her work.

-Hayley-Quinn