Roaring 20's

         Lately I've been making a lot of changes in my life in regards to fitness, eating (vegetarian friendly is a thing, right?), attitude and appearance. I'm not going to lie, this post was fueled by a haircut. I'm not talking a trim, I'm talking from upper ribs to above shoulders. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to be less attached to the things in my life and I'll be the first to admit that in the past I was very attached to my hair. It was always long and brown despite urges to make changes, my overall shyness and fear of being judged or "looking ugly" stopped me from diving into those big changes. However, in the past year I've had black, brown, red, purple, and blue hair and recently lost a hefty few inches by going from lob to bob.
         The way I see it, your twenties are your experimental years, the ones where you're old enough to move out, make changes and figure out who you are. As a quiet and awkward (we were all thinking it) woman, I came into my twenties almost a year ago now and I made a manifesto of sorts, dictating how I would live my adult life, almost like a less dramatic, less religious Eat, Pray, Love with no movies being optioned. The short of it was to stop second guessing and over-thinking every instinct that I had. A lot of this began after I started college. This is where I met people who loved art as much as I did (something I had never known before) and who introduced me to a plethora of new interests. I also got to experience new levels of freedom and responsibility which forced me to break out of my quiet/shy shell and try new things. University also allowed me to take a variety of classes, which helped me expand my horizons and discover who I really am and what I want.
         So I sat in the seat of my hair salon and let the stylist cut and dye to her heart's content. Before I first dyed my hair purple or cut it short, I worried a lot about how people thought of me, but ever since I've felt more confident and more like myself than ever before. I started dressing the way I wanted to and stopped asking for opinions. I wore heels because I wanted to and a septum piercing for the fun of it. I'm not saying that this newfound confidence stops people from giving me dirty looks (here's looking at you middle-aged-soccer-mom on the metro) or talking about me when I turn away, but I am saying that I no longer care if they do or don't. I spent nearly two decades trying to like things that made me fit in. I tried dressing like everyone else and I tried looking like everyone else. I wasted two decades trying to become this "normal" when "normal" doesn't exist.
         Nevertheless, here I am in what I'm calling my "Roaring 20's," where I've decided to be 100% myself. No explanations, no apologies. I've stopped playing dumb to get a boy to like me, I've stopped being a doormat for people who've wronged me and I've embraced feminism and stopped apologizing for being inherently female in a society which constantly degrades feminine interests. I'm not going to say that I have my shit together or that I've become this wise-woman because I still have miles to go. But for now I am happy, very young and very ready for whatever may come.
-Hayley-Quinn